Skip the apps, order fire entreé
I finally made a change to my life that has been challenging me for years. I’ve removed myself from all dating apps, including the popular hookup ones. There have been times where I would just delete the app off of my phone and keep the profile for when the mood struck. This time I deleted my profiles with the apps. I increased the level of headache it would take to bring the tools back, no pun intended. Have I reached my threshold for nonsense and a perpetual waste of time? Should I go back to therapy and consult a professional who may have some insight into my refusal to participate in modern dating? My choice is out of necessity and desire to increase my overall confidence. The apps are bringing me down, so they gotta go.
Abstaining from the pleasures of life complicates living and desires. On one hand, I want to have my fair share of fun and on the other I sense an alternative reality existing if I answered to a different calling. If you follow closely you’ll know that last week I discussed meditation and the power it has to prolong activity and focus. There’s a principle I was introduced to when reading a self help book on relationships (EXTREMELY VULNERABLE TO ADMIT THIS). In order to have something you want enter your life you have to make room by giving something up. The example looks like, “if I want connection and authenticity, I will need to give up façades and projections.” Do you feel me? Online profiles are projections. If you’re too honest, you typically get glazed over. If you’re not accurate enough, people don’t feel like they know the “real” you.
To have grander, richer, meaningful moments in life I have to remove the masks and take more risks by living openly. What's becoming true about this decision is the increased wait and rarity of chances at meeting potential partners. To be frank, in the 14 years on and off of apps, nothing has transpired yet and I’d rather see this through than continue with the downward spiral of my online persona. Allow me to be clear, I believe that everyone should do what feels the most natural to their values and what they desire. Inviting random men over or going out with men that just moved to New York three months ago isn’t cutting the cake.
Here’s what falls into place with how I see the world and my life. Spontaneous moments that take me by surprise. I am not surprised enough. I desire to leave my apartment and enter the world with no idea of what could happen. I want to make friends and meet men in the rawness of face-to-face conversation. I see a world where myself or someone else feels compelled to express curiosity in their curiosity in the other. The ephemeral nature of online interactions depletes my own bandwidth to make any connection at all. I learned recently, according to a relationship expert, people have become accustomed to only meeting online. The apps create a space and environment for endless searching and now filter your options based on your “photo quality.” YIKES! I’m sorry, but I’m taking back the power.
It’s been over three months since I’ve had physical contact or intimacy of any kind. I wouldn’t call it intimacy, but to paint the picture you get it. A relationship with myself has improved slightly and I feel exceptional to not be beholden to apps for connections. Is this a lonely path? Sure. Do I feel lonely? No. My friendships are so robust and centered around listening and love that I feel full daily. Everyday I’m a bit more curious about the world and people. I find myself asking good questions that are personal yet non-obtrusive. I’m peacefully approaching my world from a new set of prescription lenses. When the glasses are off, it's still the same world, less clear, but just as interesting.
Cinnamon Cereal Snickerdoodles
I would take trips to NYC when I was in culinary school with friends I would consider food nerds. The deconstruction of everything we ate led to intellectual conversations on how to make incredibly delicious food. Christina Tosi was up-and-coming around this time and during our numerous trips in a semester we planned visits to Milk Bar. The Milk Bar location was in the OG spot on 13th street tucked away behind Momofuku Ssam Bar. I’m nostalgic for that time. We would get passion fruit chocolate chip cake by the slice, corn cookies, grasshopper pie, cereal milk soft serve, a moment in culinary history. The economy was pulling itself out of the recession and people desired comfort in food. Christina Tosi having her hand on the pulse utilized store-bought convenience with professional technique. Unlocking childhood memories drives craze. Truthfully my favorite cereal growing up was Golden Grahams. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a close second. Had I eaten CTC in this snickerdoodle recipe, I might reconsider.
Makes 24 - 45 gram cookies.
This cookies a alternative expression of a classic snickerdoodle with cinnamon cereal brittle folded into a modern snickerdoodle base. Instead of rolling the cookies in cinnamon sugar they are rolled in crushed cinnamon cereal for surprise and textural contrast.
Ingredients for the brittle:
100g sugar
75g cinnamon cereal, coarsely crushed in a food processor
1 tsp baking soda
pinch of kosher salt
Ingredients for the snickerdoodle:
300g all purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp baking powder
100g coconut oil, virgin, softened
113g (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
300g sugar
1/2 tsp freshly grated cinnamon, use microplane
1/4 tsp freshly grated nutmeg, use microplane
1 large whole egg, cold
Ingredients for coating:
50g cinnamon cereal, finely ground in food processor
Method for the brittle:
Line a small sheet tray with parchment paper.
In a medium sized sauce pot, add sugar and two tablespoons of water. Bring to a bubble over medium heat, do not agitate to avoid crystallization. In a small bowl add crushed cinnamon cereal, baking soda and pinch of kosher salt. After 8-12 minutes the sugar should be on its way to turning an amber color. Amber to dark amber is the desired color for the brittle. Take the sugar off the heat with the lined sheet tray nearby and add the crushed cereal mixture in one shot, stir to incorporate using a heat safe spatula and immediately spread it out onto the lined sheet tray to cool for 10 minutes.
After the brittle has cooled, add it to a large ziplock bag and crush the brittle in to pea sized pieces using a rolling pin. Set aside.
Method for snickerdoodle:
In a medium sized bowl, whisk together flour, salt and baking powder and set aside. In a large bowl combine coconut oil, butter, sugar, freshly grated cinnamon and nutmeg. Using a whisk, slowly start incorporating ingredients together. Once the mixture forms into a paste, start whisking to incorporate air creaming the fat and sugar together. When it looks pale in color, add egg straight from the fridge and whisk to emulsify.
Carefully dump the flour mixture over the wet ingredients in addition to the crushed brittle. Using a spatula fold all of the ingredients together to ensure all flour is worked into the dough and the brittle is dispersed evenly.
Finishing the cookies:
In a small bowl add finely ground cinnamon cereal. Using a scale portion 24, 45g cookies. Roll each cookie individually in the ground cereal and set aside on a tray. If cookies are not being baked right away, the cookies can freeze up to two weeks and can be refrigerated up to 48 hours.
Baking the cookies:
Preheat an oven to 375ºF with a rack positioned in the center of the oven. Line a baking tray with parchment and place cookies three inches from each other. Bake for 10-15 minutes, rotating halfway through depending on the strength of the oven. Check cookies after 10 minutes in total and adjust timing accordingly. Allow cookies to cool for ten minutes before indulging.
This snickerdoodle is best eaten day of, bake only what you want/need.