*names have been changed to protect the individuals in this story.
Naomi, Linda and Christy
Working at the three-star Michelin restaurant level isn’t cake walk. Over time your mind can recognize repetitive patterns and begin to crave some mischief. It was the summer of 2014 and I was a year into my captain (server) gig at the famed establishment, The French Laundry. The working crew had developed strong relationships in and outside of the restaurant. Naomi and I were always on the hunt to make each other laugh. Naomi was an expeditor for several years, hyper-organized and very witty. Linda was relatively newer to the restaurant and had a plan since day one. She knew that she wanted to gain working knowledge of how a Michelin rated restaurant runs. Her and her family were on the fast-track towards opening a restaurant in San Francisco. Linda had an infectious laugh and Naomi and I knew we had a friend in Linda.
Naomi, Linda and I bonded over our desire to make the workplace fun. We collectively were bored with the tyranny of chef culture and micromanaging. One of the managers was Christy who was also a friend. Christy didn’t micromanage, she was capable and well trusted. She was serious but also knew how to have a good laugh. Closing duties at a three-star Michelin restaurant are consistently tedious. Something needed to be done to spice things up. Naomi, Linda and I started playing pranks on our teammates.
First, we would hide underneath tables and convince people to help us move them. The table skirts were so long that you could easily hide one person under a four-top. We would wait patiently and lure in a victim to help us move a table. Before the victim knew it a hand would reach out from under the table and grab their leg scaring the living hell out of them. You would not suspect that serious tenured professionals would be pulling off high school pranks, but that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Naomi, Linda and I hid underneath the private dining room table which could accommodate 12 people. The table top itself was an accessory added to a regular four top to accommodate large parties. The whole surface is easily moved and we could create movement from underneath that seemed unnatural . We enlisted the help of one of the polishers to convince the closing manager that there was “something strange” happening in the private dining room. When the manager approached the threshold we began violently moving the table top as we were hidden underneath. The manager let out an audible, “Oh my God, what the fuck you guys.” We were committed to most pranks but usually it became obvious what was happening because we could not control our laughter.
One night we had to move pillows from the courtyard furniture in large trash bags. Naomi, Linda and I noticed that if you put a pillow on your head and then a trash bag around your body you could not tell the difference between a bag full of pillows and one with a human inside. We got the same polisher to ask the dishwasher and other members of the restaurant if they could help move these pillows. We took turns hiding in the trash bags with pillows over our heads. When the victim would approach, we burst at them scaring the shit out of them. If you’re wondering, did we tape this? Yes, we did.
Christy started to be in on the pranks. She closed randomly a couple nights a week and she would come up to Naomi, Linda and I and ask who we planned on “getting” that night. One night we wanted to get Christy. Naomi and I waited in the office for her to finish closing underneath her desk. When she approached we would scream and *hopefully* get her good. Christy never came. We were under her desk for close to an hour. Christy was one of those types that could not be scared. As much as we tried to get her, she was typically prepared for our games. She was suspicious of everything. I convinced someone to have Christy come out the the linen closet where we put the trash and dirty linens from the restaurant. I would be waiting ready to jump scare Christy. By the time our help brought Christy out to the linen closet she opened the door with a squirt bottle in her hands spraying me and said, “Nice try.” Christy loved watching everyone else get pranked. In order to keep up our charades Christy was typically in on the games.
Then, the American Canyon earthquake happened. In the middle of the night belongings crashed, the walls moved like waves and a lot was damaged. Naomi, Linda, Christy and I all stayed in contact and checked in on each other. It felt like the ultimate prank happened to us all. No one was prepared for what happened. Collectively, without communication we took it as a sign to stop. For a while it felt so nice to feel like a kid again. We played, we laughed and it made the days go by quickly. Serious moments felt less serious when I was with Naomi, Linda and Christy. We supported each other and made each other laugh more importantly. I believe that laughter and play are essential to work, life and love. I’m sure the people we scared initially didn’t like it, but they quickly understood that they could be in on the fun too. The pranks were bonding moments. The pranks built community in a way the restaurants core values did not. Company jargon was hurled at us constantly, but we found our own way of serving up excellence, by making each other laugh.
My BLT
The mustard forward homemade mayo is like Beyoncé singing, “Let me upgrade you.” I now believe it’s essential to care for every single element of the BLT. You will cast a vote in the right direction when you invest properly. I might even say this could be one of the best BLT’s of your life.
Serves 2
Ingredients:
8oz of Bacon (straightforward bacon)
1 large egg yolk
2T Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp kosher salt (diamond crystal)
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp white distilled vinegar
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
4 slices of brioche (1/2” thick)
2T unsalted butter (melted)
1 medium ripe heirloom tomato (sliced 1/4 inch thick)
1 head gem lettuce (washed and portioned into leaves)
flaky salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Method:
Preheat oven to 350ºF.
Line a small baking tray with parchment and in an even layer lay out your bacon. Cook in the oven for 10-15 minutes until the bacon is crisp. (doneness depends on the individual and the kind of bacon you purchase).
In a large bowl, add egg yolk, mustard, salt, sugar and white distilled vinegar. Gently whisk to combine. Whisk continuously while you stream in 1/2 cup of olive oil, slowly. Stop occasionally to ensure the oil is well incorporated and the sauce is emulsified becoming thick. Before adding the last amount of olive oil, add a teaspoon of cold water to the bowl and whisk thoroughly following with the remaining 1/4 cup of olive oil. The sauce should be thickened and pale yellow, set aside.
Brush your brioches slices on both sides with the melted butter and gently toast in a large pan over medium low heat rotating every two minutes to ensure even browning. When the brioche looks golden, remove and set aside.
Season your tomato slices with flaky salt and black pepper. Begin to assemble the BLT. Take all the slices, lined up and spread a generous amount of dijon mayo over the surface. Build the sandwiches on one piece of bread leaving the remaining pieces as “the lid.” Line up the bacon slices to create an even surface for the tomato to follow. Lastly, add the gem lettuce and top with remaining piece of dijon mayo lined bread and give a gentle squish to “seal” the sandwich.
Slice however you’d like or not at all. This sandwich truly needs no accompaniment and will happily and confidently stand on its own.