The Parasocial Kitchen

I thought I was friends with Alison Roman.

Jun 22, 2023

She’s just like me.

When I was on my path towards becoming a restaurant owner, I would watch with envy YouTube and Instagram food stars virality. Overtime through reposting and attempts at making their recipes I felt close to them. A lot of the food stars are restaurant industry veterans with mutual friends. I would watch every viral recipe take off and I would make these recipes and share them with my friends. The home kitchens of these food icons echoed my own ethos, “less is more,” variations on beans and greens, mindful cooking, vegetables as a centerpiece, etc. I was beginning to develop parasocial relationships with some of them.

What is a Parasocial Relationship?

Parasocial relationships are one-sided. The bond exists for one person while the other has no idea. The most famous example of individuals in parasocial relationships are Taylor Swift fans. I will admit that even I developed a parasocial relationship with

Alison Roman

. I met her and she had no clue who I was. Out of admiration and respect I never told her in person exactly how I felt about her. After meeting Alison, I can assure you that even my parasocial relationship with her changed. I witnessed a totally normal human woman sitting in front of me. She loves her friends, watches her shows on TV, and loves to get out of town every now and then. With some clarity I quickly removed myself from the bond I had developed with her over the years and embraced a profound relationship with myself.

Pierce Abernathy is another food personality I feel like I have developed a parasocial relationship with and I have met him as well. I lightly panicked when he sat down at a restaurant I was managing in SoHo. No one, yes, no one knew who he was. That didn’t matter to me because I knew who he was. Thats how powerful the grips of parasocial relationships can be. I felt special because I knew Pierce and no one else did. I knew he used to work at BuzzFeed and he lives in Brooklyn, like myself. He’s kind and respectful, all that someone who was in a one-sided bond could ask for. After he left the restaurant, I felt an acute sense of longing like I lost a friend, but this friend never knew we were friends.

cocoa and black sesame crepe cake, summer 2023.

I realized that the food people I developed parasocial relationships with were living a life that I desired. The carefree, “say what you feel,” “just a little of this and that,” “I’ve got cute ceramics and enough space in NYC to host 6-10 people.” I want to establish that I am not envious of these individuals anymore. I admire their taste and curatorial abilities. What I discovered is that I can follow my own intuition and creatively be fulfilled in a similar way. Currently I am making evolutionary choices that bring me closer to the life I am genuinely excited to live. I take small steps back, look, evaluate and lead with my values. I’m happy I developed those parasocial relationships with Alison and Pierce. I now see them as two individuals living out their life, taking risks that guide their spirit and help them achieve their dreams. I’m elated that I follow my dreams and maybe one day someone might have a parasocial relationship with me.

Urfa Spiced Lamb with Harissa Yogurt

Serves 3-4

1 tsp whole coriander

1 tsp whole black peppercorns

1 tsp whole cumin

2 tsp urfa biber chili

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

1 large onion, finely diced

2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced

1 large egg

170g whole Greek yogurt

40g fine breadcrumbs

1lb ground lamb

2T parsley, finely chopped

1T, plus 1tsp kosher salt

45g harissa

Mixed herbs, picked (not chopped), such as parsley, mint and dill.

Preheat oven to 325ºF.

Toast coriander, black pepper and cumin on a small sheet tray in the oven for 8-12 minutes, until fragrant. Remove and allow to cool slightly before adding to a spice grinder or mortar and pestle. Grind spices into a fine powder then add to a large bowl with the addition of the urfa chili.

In a medium-large sized sauté pan over medium heat, add 2T extra virgin olive oil to the pan. Add onion and garlic stirring occasionally avoiding color. Sweat the mixture for roughly 10-15 minutes until the onion is translucent and soft, set aside and allow to cool.

In your large bowl with your spices, add egg, 75g of the greek yogurt, and breadcrumbs. Stir to combine. Add to the bowl the ground lamb, chopped parsley, kosher salt and onion mixture. Begin to incorporate everything ensuring it is well mixed and starts to become sticky and form one mass.

Portion your raw spiced lamb into twelve 60-65g balls. In a large skillet over medium high heat add the remaining extra virgin olive oil. Cook lamb in two batches and avoid over crowding the pan. Flip the lamb on different sides every 2-4 minutes to encourage browning. Each batch should take roughly 10 minutes. Set aside and allow the lamb to rest.

In a small bowl, mix harissa with a pinch of salt and remaining 90g of Greek yogurt. Spread the yogurt mixture on a serving plate as the base for your lamb. Add spiced lamb on top, following with the picked herbs. This dish plays well as a salad by adding greens and would be a delicious main with some tender rice and braised greens.

New Local Favorite! Radio Bakery. Greenpoint, BK.

Kelly Mencin has been hard at work with her team. Leading up to the opening of Radio Bakery has been nothing short of “viennoserie hypebeast.” Sold out pop-ups, industry support, and a solid home base with the team from Rolo’s is the essential recipe for early onset success. The bakery delivers hit after hit and reveals new items throughout the day. Kelly’s approach to running a bakery feels alarmingly intuitive. Her team is working mindfully with the space they have to cement themselves into the NYC bakery hall of fame. Go grab an Earl Grey Morning Bun or the Muffuletta on focaccia so light and oven kissed that it makes you wonder if you could ever make focaccia like that at home. Snag a piece of olive and grape focaccia for that ideal photograph worthy snack plate you’ll make for yourself in lieu of dinner. Exquisite work from a trusted voice in the industry. Bravo Kelly.