A quiche is straight but a coddled egg is totally gay.
There’s a scene in the movie Carol where Cate Blanchett is having dinner with Rooney Mara and she says to the waiter, “I’ll have the creamed spinach over poached eggs.” That’s a classically gay order. Two very soft foods that allow you to look sexy as you eat whilst barely chewing. What qualifies certain foods gay, straight, or otherwise? The name of a dish often reveals its preferences immediately. Most gay men go by their full birth name (e.g. Richard, Joseph, Theodore, Malcolm, Matthew) never conceding to a nickname. Adjectives can also cue us into the sexual identity of a dish or ingredient. For example leeks, they’re long, ombre, full of sand and secrets so in fact, they’re gay.
What would make a Frittata queer? The egg dish does not correspond to norms. It follows its own desired path towards expression. Just about anything can be a frittata and therefore it opens itself to the spectrum. Eggs Benedict, with that militant name and recognizable appearance is in fact bisexual. If you're lost by the logic behind this, let’s explore further.
A NYC Bodega BEC (bacon, egg, and cheese) is straight. Everyone understands the BEC’s ethics and we know what politics the BEC believes in. If this is true then the Thai Diner Egg Sandwich is fully lit on gay flames. A softly cooked egg, melty cheese, and Sai Oua herbal sausage all neatly wrapped up in roti, honey, she’s gay. I would love to see a world where the pendulum swings the BEC towards the other end of the Kinsey scale. Would adding scallions or Jarlsberg make it gay, even bisexual? Certain well known foods that are apart of the zeitgeist make their preferences known rather quickly.
Then we have hybrid foods. These exist, in my opinion, on the periphery. “The Cronut” (combination croissant/doughnut), the donut being straight and the croissant owning its gayness. We aren't sure how to contextualize hybrids, they seem greedy and will most likely vaporize before our eyes. Potentially, one of the worst examples is “The Cruffin” (part croissant, part muffin). The polarity is jarring and can cause shock to the system, so please beware of the hybrids. They’re meant to confuse you and cause distress.
Meal times fall into their own preference categories as well. Breakfast is without question queer. I don’t even have to mention that brunch is the gayest meal since the invention of the mimosa. Lunch is tough because it presents one way but masquerades as openness, so lunch is bisexual. Dinner is just straight, always has been and always will be. There is some cheeky nuance to all of the identification. However, I have terrible news. In a spirited mood I decided to combine straight and gay in one dish, Carbonara Frittata. Carbonara being straight and Frittata being gay/queer. Stay tuned for more on that.
Why would I muddy these pristine glacial lake waters? Pride month has had a legacy of overcoming adversity, sharing harrowing stories of the past, and giving a big middle finger to anything that stands in the way of equal rights. I do believe that pride is a moment where actual inclusivity can happen. Yet, I have met many white gay men that have fractured the value that pride could have. There is potential when June rolls around to celebrate the communities we inhabit and rejoice in the changing of seasons, celebrating achievements towards progress and discuss actionable items to increase positive change. Let’s have pride be about that. In the meantime, I was thinking that tartine’s are legit gay, right?
Carbonara Frittata
Italians have been making pasta frittatas for years and I feel justified with this one because its an adaptation of the iconic Roman pasta dish thats leaning into its versatility. The addition of all the pork fat is a key step as well as adding the pasta straight from the boiling water. In no time at all the frittata will emerge from the oven with its crispy edges and soft custardy interior making this a very gay dish.
Serves 2-4
Ingredients:
3T extra virgin olive oil
100g guanciale or pancetta, cut into 1/4 inch batons
200g spaghetti
2 large eggs, plus two yolks
40g parmesan
40g pecorino
2tsp fresh *coarsely* ground black pepper
Method:
Preheat oven to 450ºF.
In a small sauce pan, heat one tablespoon of olive oil and guanciale over medium low. Render out the fat slowly and stir occasionally to promote even browning. When the fat has become molten and the pork turns a dark rust color (8-12 minutes), remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly.
In large pot of boiling salted water (salty like the sea), add your spaghetti and cook to the suggested doneness on the package and add 1-2 minutes to that time. The pasta should be well cooked when used for the frittata.
In a large bowl, whisk whole eggs, yolks, 30g of parmesan, 30g of pecorino, and black pepper. When the mixture is smooth, add in slightly cooled guanciale with all of the fat from the pan. This step is crucial to ensuring you have a delicious base for the frittata.
In a large oven safe non-stick skillet, add remaining two tablespoons of olive oil and gently warm over medium heat.
Add pasta directly from the pot to the bowl and stir in with eggs to coat the pasta; then directly add it to your skillet. Sizzling and bubbling is encouraged but not necessary. If you want a dramatic effect for your finished frittata, lace the pasta in a curious way that’s pleasing to the eye. Top with remaining 10g of parmesan and 10g of pecorino. Place in the oven for 10-12 minutes. The cheese should be melted on top and have some slight browning.
Allow to cool for 5-10 minutes before removing from the pan, keep in mind the whole pan has been in the oven. Garnish with some more cheese if you’re up for the indulgence. I like to drizzle with some punchy Tuscan olive oil and more black pepper. Slice into wedges and serve warm.