Calling in “the one”
Beyond my love for self help books I enjoy a book that is also a program. This all started with “The Artist’s Way,” catapulting me to source and prioritize creativity above all else. Now, 400 days in with morning pages, I have a curiosity towards books with an agenda. Currently I am reading, “Calling in ‘the one,’” a seven week program with daily lessons to do just what the title suggests. This past week I was tasked with rewriting my agreements.
Agreements are popular feelings, shared thoughts or opinions based around ways of living. Whether we’re aware of it or not, our caregivers shape our agreements and if unchecked over the years you can feel lost or isolated. My mother may have told me at a very informative age that if men cheat, they’ll always cheat. I may not believe that now, however, it certainly shaped me for a few years and how I handled many of my relationships. My mother’s disgust for cheating men made me believe that the only trusting relationships I could forge were with women.
In high school and in college I would consistently not take men seriously, even as partners. Being able to understand that this agreement was my own choosing was eye opening. Parents and caregivers often aren’t aware of the the agreements they make with themselves and therefore “gifting” to you. In rewriting my own agreements I am consciously choosing what feels aligned with who I am today and where I’d like to be rather than a previous iteration of myself. Releasing the past and how it shaped your choices typically leads to a significant breakthrough. What we all have is the present choices and agreements we make today. I’m realizing as I write this, it might be agreeable knowledge, but acting upon this information is often painful.
Relinquishing control of previous narratives sets me free for the future I know deserve for myself. This future is one where I have my own agreements with myself to prioritize love, honesty, mutuality and fulfillment.
Jazzy Beans and Greens
I love cooking like ye ole Nonna. Recently though I have been appreciating some small joys like canned beans or a fresh loaf of bread from the neighborhood bakeshop. In winter I think I thrive more on the flames than the summer where turning on anything that emits heat is sacrilege. This recipe of a quick salty boil for the greens and dunking them right into a warm bath of garlic, beans, and olive oil just does it for me. You cook the mixture together over high heat, rarely stirring and in the last minute it all comes together. The whole dish feels like its been fussed over for hours but truly you know it was all done under thirty minutes.
Serves 2
Ingredients:
1 head of broccoli rabe, stem trimmed
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, cooking
2 cloves garlic, core removed, thinly sliced
1/2 tsp fennel seed, ground
1 tsp crushed red chili flake, ground
1 tsp kosher salt (diamond crystal)
1 15.5oz can of cannelini or butter beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 lemon, juice
1/2 lemon, zested
for serving, block of ricotta salata and 2T extra virgin olive oil (finishing)
Method:
Boil the Greens. In a large pot with boiling water add kosher salt until it’s quite salty. Salty like the sea, as they say. Add the bunch of broccoli rabe and cook for 5-8 minutes, until the rabe’s stems are tender to the touch. Remove and set aside, do not put in an ice bath. No need to rinse or drain excess water from the greens, you want the liquid that comes out of them after boiling.
Warm your aromatics. In a heavy bottomed skillet, add cooking olive oil, garlic, fennel, chili and salt. Gently warm over medium heat until the mixture become notably fragrant. Important note, do not get color on the garlic. You want to warm and coax the spices and garlic to be reminiscent of a jacuzzi.
Add beans. Add the beans to the skillet and warm through 2-4 minutes. Add in your greens with their natural disgorgement of water. Simmer the mixture over high heat for 3-5 minutes. You want to evaporate as much of the liquid as possible, but try not to let the pan go completely dry.
Cut the heat and plate. Once the beans and greens look barely saucy, you can cut the heat and there will be residual evaporation happening. Thats totally fine. Add lemon juice for brightness. You will want to dress the beans with lemon zest and generous amounts of high quality extra virgin olive oil to make them supple and luxurious. I like these greens with ricotta salata. You may want to lay some anchovies over these greens, add breadcrumbs, serve with pasta, spoon alongside a chicken. Do whatever you heart desires.
i like shane parrish’s new book clear thinking and his newsletter farnam street. i love this bean recipe but don’t think we have what you’d call a big pot. need you to do some tiny nyc kitchen recipes. cook here then in the big kitchen in 29 after your romp around the world.