ring ring, health is calling
That damn incessant phone is ringing off the hook again. On the other end of the line is health. Like a telemarketer, health is trying to get a hold of you at the worst times. Please forward to voicemail and I may listen to it later. In between working on recipes for this publication, I always imagine myself eating the same thing everyday. What I had envisioned was something like braised greens, soft boiled eggs, toast, a salad full of roughage and some salty toasted nuts. Voila, that would be my daily intake and I would be whisked away to bed by a light nightly breeze at 10PM and get 8-10 hours of sleep before I do it all over again. For some inexplicable reason, I have only been craving sweets in abundance. Last week I consumed three cookies before noon. They were cookies I was recipe testing and I’m like, “ya, this is what I have, so Imma only eat this.” Before the days end, I brought out three more cookies and ate those around 6PM.
A lot of my decision making sometimes is rooted in how cheap I’m feeling. The grocery bill is getting to be stupid expensive. Honey, I’m looking for SALES. I’m sorry I’ve been a trader to Trader Joes. I typically buy unsalted butter but I bought salted butter this week because it was on sale for $4.99 a pound. I remember when (damn me for this expression) butter used to cost that price, without a sale. I rarely buy meat now. I hosted a few friends for dinner and made cutlets. It was $20 for three chicken breasts. The system has got me thinking, are we back on that supply chain shortage? Are chickens deciding to not have kids? Is AI somehow in the agricultural industry? It sure feels like it. This could very well be karma. I used to defend the price of food by saying, “good food should be expensive.” Baby girl, someone should have sewed my gay lips shut and thrown out the scissors. I must’ve had money to set on fire at that time of my life. Let’s face it, soon we’ll have to pay our grocery bills on Klarna.
I’ve had these ideas that I would wake up certain mornings and begin making breakfast as vapors whisper off of hot coffee. I’d start boiling water and crisping some bread made from a starter named Imogen. I’d pull from the cabinet a beautiful little setup that displays my thoughtfully manicured breakfast. I’d cook one egg and gently tap the shell with the back of a spoon. I’d have a small knob of this or that from the larder in the fridge. Something curiously fermented or pickled would just appear. Nah my dude, living is that but living is also unhinging your jaw and taking in three Tiramisú cookies before noon. I can now accept the beauty of both realities. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to pictured waking up in a knitted beanie like I’m glamping in Vancouver. It’s a dilemma that I constantly oscillate between nourishment and over indulgence.
I’m gifting myself peace of mind in that whatever I decide to eat, I better come hungry and leave full. Yes! One thousand times over and over (finger snaps and a baby wink). In the pipeline I’m making dishes I’m horny to eat. I have signed an invisible contract to not speak about those items until release, so we’ll wait for now. In gay culture the expression, “you better eat,” means commit and deliver something with conviction and full performative nature. Moving forward I’m saying, “you better come hungry and leave full.” Health is a state of mind and its jammed down our damn throats like ducks on a foie gras farm. I believe getting to know yourself a bit more lets you understand what you want and what you need. It’s a complicated, messy, rather up and down relationship with yourself. You better come hungry and leave humble.
Tiramisú Cookies
Gather around girls. If you love tiramisú then I think you’ll love it in cookie form. This recipe is texturally more interesting than the regular Italian staple. The cookie is straight vibes. I truly thought about this one. The browning of the butter mimics the nuttiness you would find in the Marsala for soaking the lady fingers. The quarter teaspoon of cinnamon subtly adds depth in the way you might never notice but without it the cookie wouldn’t have “star quality.” There is no mascarpone. The ermine buttercream is seasoned with spiced rum nodding to the noticeable booze you often find in tiramisú. I thought achieving balance here would be challenging. When I tasted the finished cookie I was shocked at how refined it felt to me. I believe this cookie is a whole new experience altogether hopefully making the OG proud.
Makes 16 cookies
For the cookies:
113g unsalted butter (1 stick)
100g granulated sugar
100g light brown sugar
1T finely ground espresso (I used Café Bustelo)
1/4tsp ground cinnamon
1tsp vanilla extract
1 large egg, cold from the fridge
150g all purpose flour
1/2tsp baking soda
1/2tsp kosher salt
90g dark chocolate (65-80%), hand chopped from bar, *preferred*
For spiced rum buttercream:
150g granulated sugar
3T all purpose flour
pinch of kosher salt
230ml (1 cup) whole milk
227g unsalted butter (2 sticks), softened at room temperature
2T spiced rum or aged rum
flakey salt and cocoa powder to finish.
Cookie Method:
Brown the butter. In a small pot, brown the butter over medium heat until nutty and fragrant, set aside for a minute. In a medium to large sized bowl add both sugars, ground espresso, and cinnamon. Gently whisk together to incorporate. Add hot browned butter to the sugar carefully whisking. When the mixing bowl feels warm, add vanilla extract and the egg straight from the fridge. This will bring the batter to room temp and make everything homogeneous after continuously whisking then set aside.
Fold in the flour and chill. In a medium sized bowl add flour, baking soda and salt giving a light whisk to combine. Add in chopped chocolate and then fold into the wet batter. A couple of deliberate folds will bring things together. Do not overlook stirring up from the bottom of the bowl to ensure all the flour gets hydrated. Wrap the dough with plastic wrap and allow it to chill for one hour in the refrigerator.
Portion and bake: Preheat oven to 350ºF with the rack positioned in the center. Using a scale, portion the cookies by scooping to get sixteen 35-36 gram sized cookies. Line a baking tray with parchment paper. Eight cookies per tray should be sufficient if you provide one inch of consideration for spreading. Bake for 5-7 minutes then rotate the tray 180º and continue baking for an additional 5-7 minutes. The cookies should be just about to set on top, the chocolate melted and shiny and the perimeter of each cookie should look delicately browned. Let the cookies rest on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a parchment lined rack to cool. The cookies need to cool for 30 minutes before icing.
Make the buttercream: Set aside a large heat safe mixing bowl. In a medium sauce pot add sugar, flour and salt gently whisking to combine. Add whole milk and continue whisking before cooking over medium heat. The milk mixture will start to thicken, about 5-10 minutes in, keep whisking. Momentarily stop whisking and see if the base is bubbling. If the base is bubbling continue whisking for a couple more seconds and cut the heat. Pour immediately into the large bowl, and whisk in the large bowl periodically at is cools.
Whip in the butter: Once the milk pudding is room temperature and no longer warm, start whipping in the softened butter in small doses one tablespoon at a time. Once the previous addition is fully incorporated then continue adding in butter. After half the butter is added, add one tablespoon of rum to the buttercream whisking it in fully before continuing to add more butter. Once you’ve added all of butter, avoid over whisking. Add the remaining tablespoon of rum at the end. *Please note, if your buttercream breaks there are a couple of things your can do. Lightly chill the mixture if it looks very glossy and fatty and then continue to whip together after 10 minutes in the fridge. If the buttercream starts to look like ricotta, flick ice cold water into the buttercream with your fingertips and it should whip right back into shape. Resist the temptation of adding more butter than whats listed in the recipe.
Build the cookies: Take each cooled cookie and dollop a generous amount of buttercream on top swirling in an organic way. You may have additional buttercream, and thats okay, it freezes well. Sprinkle frosted cookies with a pinch flakey salt. Using a fine mesh sieve, dust the tops of each cookie with cocoa powder (I like Guittard or Valrhona). Serve these cookies same day. They will keep for 24 hours at room temperature. The cookies freeze well frosted and unfrosted for 1-2 weeks. Make sure to temper them before leaving your tandsmør (Danish for “tooth butter.”)